tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post1049645360458906924..comments2023-05-18T03:00:50.326-07:00Comments on Poetry of Flesh: Poetry of Fleshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00871932715491205605noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-48968435805744456802010-02-01T21:06:13.815-08:002010-02-01T21:06:13.815-08:00Maurice,
You're right. And I did get it back...Maurice,<br /><br />You're right. And I did get it back together without any slip ups. It's been interesting, but good, I think. We both are holding a torch for each other, but I don't know that we'll ever be together.<br /><br />Sistasage,<br /><br />You're right on all fronts. The control thing is a big one. I don't want to change how I feel for him, but there is that element of control, of his wishes having control over my actions, my feelings. I want him to see me as strong... well, he sees me as strong, but I want to live up to that strength. Pulling back, being respectful, that seems strong to me.<br /><br />Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. It often seems that what most people view as strength isn't strength at all, but fear motivating actions.<br /><br />Dan,<br /><br />I hate the feeling when someone is keeping score of those things. So pressured. But it's hard not to do when you've got a habit of doing it.<br /><br />I hope your plan works out- it sounds like a good one.Poetry of Fleshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00871932715491205605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-9564557722763756962010-01-20T15:08:28.800-08:002010-01-20T15:08:28.800-08:00It sounds like you are both doing the best you can...It sounds like you are both doing the best you can, given some emotionally charged and uncertain circumstances.<br /><br />I find when I put pressure on myself (or other people, for that matter) to live up to some standard I have set for myself (or them), my brain and emotions sometimes have a way of scoring things in such a way its impossible for me (or them) to measure up.<br /><br />I've been working on this thing where I try and let go of the times where I and other people have fallen short, take responsibility for my own bullshit, trust others to handle their own, and keep slogging forward the best I'm able ;)<br /><br />It's a work in progress, but I'll let you know how it turns out.Dan_Brodribbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14026291343082142533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-36844171614646372812010-01-20T12:28:23.988-08:002010-01-20T12:28:23.988-08:00feel free to shoot the messenger, but if he's ...feel free to shoot the messenger, but if he's really not willing to have the relationship you want, then he's right: touching physically leads back to the bond he wants to break, and it is wise to stop the touching. if he keeps letting you reach for him, and then continues to push you away, he's fucking with you. regardless of whether he means to. <br /><br />this phrase of yours: "I know it's disrespectful to him to be weak like I am being." makes me think of the dynamic your dad tries to hold over you, because it's a statement about how this man has control over how you feel, and how you should feel the way he wants you to feel. <br /><br />still love him? you can show up screaming, naked on his front lawn. you're still in control of you. but try and change the way you feel? that means pretending he's in control. and he's not.sistasagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01063405753195572799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-335428585415069662010-01-20T10:27:12.318-08:002010-01-20T10:27:12.318-08:00don't do it. don't revert back to that an...don't do it. don't revert back to that and fuck around to get him out of your system. stay at your better place, your higher level of awareness, and work through it that way. if you cannot be together, time will heal all with or without that behavior, which, despite your likely protestations, has an aspect which is intrinsically self-damaging. if you can, somehow, you'll wish you hadn't done it. remember your fucking around was what caused your first big fight. not that it is the same now, but still. believe it or not, i am still rooting for you and hoping you can work it out. it's clear you are both holding a torch, which may mean a lot.mauricenoreply@blogger.com