tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post8175426604081553312..comments2023-05-18T03:00:50.326-07:00Comments on Poetry of Flesh: Poetry of Fleshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00871932715491205605noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-65036950212465969222010-05-07T08:28:08.018-07:002010-05-07T08:28:08.018-07:00Meh….. It is a difficult pool to swim through. Bot...Meh….. It is a difficult pool to swim through. Both for a woman and a man. No one wants to be ego crusher maximus. And no one wants to be crushed. The very act of approaching someone is putting the ego out on the line to some degree.<br /><br />At the same time it’s necessary. Social intelligence is one of those things that has to be cultivated in life. Literally, as if one has a square patch of dirt and one plants seeds and waters them and tends for them like small children until they grow.<br /><br />People often enough are not very hip on self cultivation, or self examination. Frankly I think it's a sexy trait. The self examination thing can be taken too far, of course... but it's probably better than being dense.<br /><br />I try to look at my reactions and the reactions of other people and learn from them. But it is a difficult art to cultivate, or at least can be for many people.<br /><br />For many men, rejection feels like a total rejection of their worth as men, as beings actually. In particular if the man in question has a history of rejection, it feels like a kick in the solar plexus, an indication of a basic unworthiness as a male adult being...<br /><br />But on the same token, people should just be able to get over certain things as part of maturing and growth. Some people learn how, others do not. Insecurity covers part of it but as a single word it doesn't fully express the emotional range...<br /><br />I think that escapism and insecurity are to some degrees forms of self indulgence, socially dangerous ones, and delusion. Having experienced these things in spades I have no problem pointing them out when I see them in other men.<br /><br />Rejection can teach someone many things, where there is no chemistry there is no chemistry. I just got a little rejection email from a girl I'd started to date a few times, it was one of those "there's just no chemistry here, hope you understand, maybe we can hang out in a dive bar somewhere" type of notes. It was a nice let down, I took it well, there was no leading each other on. It happened. There are other women who I find insane chemistry with. Such things happen. <br /><br />a man's ability to stand outside of his ego and look at himself, his faults, virtues, and being, and look at others, and try to see things like acceptance and rejection in a more objective like, is a hard won skill.<br /><br />I really think that women are more socially intelligent than men. For real. That said, I think basic socialization is also key. Many people spend a good part of their day interacting with machines, no wonder they are bloody weird. The times in my life in which I was socially weird were times that I spent waaaay too much time interacting with machines.<br /><br />There is something to this, in the ballad of man and woman, in our generation...Kamal S.http://kali-yuga.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-85367367465727163282010-04-15T23:32:15.570-07:002010-04-15T23:32:15.570-07:00For a guy like me, it is nearly impossible to empa...For a guy like me, it is nearly impossible to empathize with you.<br />I rarely find myself in situations where a social and physical ingrate latches on to my presence with a manic viciousness and will not Release. So the true cost of me being friendly is quite low.<br /><br />Whereas you, Poetry, you express the vaguest sense of icy warmth and guys immediately think you wanna fuck them.<br /><br />At first, I thought socially inept was a strong term...then I thought maybe innacurate.<br /><br />Now I feel it is fitting because it describes a dynamic in which a man, though not shy or soft-spoken, injects way too many of his own desires into an interaction with an open female and his former dignified manner turns to shit in the matter of minutes.<br /><br />Maybe you are not the next Miss America, but your body (which is all I've ever seen) is curvy as hell and you have that contra-society intellectual cerebral sex-kitten look (I pieced that together based on your self-description) and there is no doubt you will appeal to the type of man who glorifies the mind over the ascetic, which more often than not is the "social erratic."<br /><br />Actually, there is a class of man lower than socially inept. The social escapists. We are out of the loop. The world chugs along and we haven't the slightest clue what's going on...Phoenixismhttp://www.phoenxism.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-51594268581899222692010-04-15T17:06:33.353-07:002010-04-15T17:06:33.353-07:00Dan,
I'm somewhat surprised that, having been...Dan,<br /><br />I'm somewhat surprised that, having been one of those guys, you have empathy for my plight. I expected any one who had gone through the male portion of this post to have little or no sympathy for me, just writing me off as a stuck up drama queen.<br /><br />You know, if you ever want a writing partner for an article or three for your new blog, male and female perspective, lemme know...<br /><br />sistasage,<br /><br />Maybe if I condensed it into a pamphlet format and kept a couple of copies in my purse with the pack of gold stars I picked up for people who are "awesome" (totally true).<br /><br />If it wasn't so uncomfortable for me, I'd think it comical. I do need to toughen up, I know. I need to focus on myself and stop whining about it. I'm not supposed to be a victim.<br /><br />And I nearly died laughing at work when I read your script. I may have to try that. You totally need to let me know if you go about this strategy. Maybe we could do it several times and consolidate our data.Poetry of Fleshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00871932715491205605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-72945652359749831492010-04-15T11:33:04.042-07:002010-04-15T11:33:04.042-07:00that would be great, dan. your insight is valuable...that would be great, dan. your insight is valuable. as i was reading this, i literally asked myself "what would dan say?"<br /><br />again i'm with the nerdy ideas, but i would love to see you print this post out, V, and hand it to the next person who awkwardly hits on you. it's unfair you end up thinking so much about how to compassionately reject someone (perhaps an oxymoron) while chances are they are thinking "hmm, maybe if i try even HARDER?"<br /><br />or when you first sense the incoming unwanted, change the conversation subject to "how you know you're being rejected." example: <br /><br />guy: so, what do you like doing for fun? (wink wink, suggestive leer)<br />v: you know, i really like discussing with guys how to tell if a girl is actually interested. because i've witnessed a good chunk of my platonic guy friends awkwardly hit on myself or another woman, and i just keep thinking 'man, if only you knew.' you probably know i'm not romantically interested in you, right? but so many guys would miss it, even though i've (and then list off all the subtle cues you sent them).<br /> <br />i find this topic fascinating, likely because i tend to fail at it. maybe i'll try the strategy, and let you know how it goes.sistasagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01063405753195572799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186930289760870447.post-63985935566118945492010-04-15T10:54:47.557-07:002010-04-15T10:54:47.557-07:00I've been one of those guys. I have a lot of e...I've been one of those guys. I have a lot of empathy for you.<br /><br />The shitty part is there's nothing you CAN do. Even if you wanted to help--and it sounds like you do--it's completely outside your control. It's a drag they are making it your problem.<br /><br />I really ought to write an article on this for the new siteDan_Brodribbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14026291343082142533noreply@blogger.com