Friday, September 18, 2009

My birthday is coming up.

Normally, I don't care. And, really, I still don't particularly care.

But I decided, as a gift to myself, since SFPlayboy is theoretically coming down soon, I'm going to (likely successfully) attempt to arrange a threesome with him and GV8. Because that would be wonderful. Happy birthday, here's some DP.

I know both of them would be up for it.

It's just a matter of Playboy getting himself down here.

On the GV8 front, he's made me copies of the keys to get into the apartment he recently leased, so I've got a Hollywood home whenever I want it, at least until he hires an assistant and puts her up there.

This weekend is something new for us.

He's planning on having the loft mostly operational by next Saturday, which means this weekend is him being busy, busy, busy.

But instead of me just leaving him alone to work, or him taking time off work to hang out with me, he's decided that we should go our separate ways this weekend, but both of us should stay the nights at the new apartment so we see each other.

I'm slightly off-put by this, but also pleased.

I cannot tell if he just wants sex-on-tap, or if he wanted to see me and knew this was the only way to make time, or if he wants to see the dynamic we have in this sort of free situation.

Also cannot tell how much time he expects me to make for him. I'm not going to be able to tell until tonight, until I see him.

We keep having these mini-miscommunications where I know he has a lot on his plate for work and the impending club so I try not to bug him, try not to text him, call him, overburden his schedule with activities. His business is priority, I am not going to attempt to dissuade him otherwise.

But then when I do give him that space, when I don't try to squeeze myself into his schedule, it's almost like he gets hurt that I'm not trying. Not quite hurt, really, more... well, maybe it is hurt. That's not quite the right word. Not offended, not depressed, more like a, "Hey, why aren't you paying attention to me?" almost. Not whining, just surprised and unsettled.

This has happened a few times.

But I'm used to sleeping with busy, busy men whose schedules I have to work around, so they call me when they have time available. To bother them to make time is a death knell. So I have been trained not to do so.

He doesn't seem to want that.

Which is funny, because he's busier than any of the others were in the past.

So, tonight, I'm going to run by the loft and grab the keys, then go out with The Bassist. His (amazing) band has been contacted to do music for a TV pilot, so they're working on the licensing with that company today. After they finish, we're going to go run around Hollywood and the like. Saturday, I'm going out to Hemet (which I've managed to avoid all of my life... until now) for family fun and frolic, and Sunday I'm supposed to have a date with someone new... which I might cancel if things with GV8 look like I should spend time with him instead.

Feeling things out.

Whatever happens, I'll have fun.


  1. there exists a separate class of people who want the pursuing, or at least desire of their time (of them) for various reasons....guess he's in that boat. even if he hasn't the time. good luck with the weekend outing. outings always accomplish something, even if only to stave off boredom

  2. I think that he senses the latent pursuer in you. You fight yourself and seem to do it quite well. (Having a stable of other people around helps a lot.) But you both sense that your desire is there.

    You're doing the right thing by not going into full-out pursue mode. He craves it, but he'll also fight it. It's very easy to go over the line into the "smothering" mode and people rarely warn you where that line is.

    My general rule is, give him more space than he needs and he'll likely crave more closeness. Maybe he'll even get to the point of craving as much closeness as you do.