Saturday, December 19, 2009 father just informed me that he's giving me $50K to pay for my schooling.

You'd think I'd be relieved. You really would.

But, if you knew my father, you'd know his temper is explosive, his mood swings are legendary, and promises are not always kept.

I can't cling to a dream.

The money isn't mine until it's in a bank account that only I have access to.

Welcome to my life. My justifiably paranoid life where I can't believe in the offers that are made to me, and gifts are to be denied as reality.

GV8 did go through with his vasectomy yesterday. Part of me was fantasizing that he wouldn't, that he would change his mind at the last minute and realize he should be with me.

But he didn't.

Snip, snip.

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