Monday, February 22, 2010

Nightmares haunted me last night. Waking up every hour, every two hours, shirt sticking to me plastered skin-tight with sweat, that waking sweat circling my body line a murder-line.

Nightmares of a world without GV8, with him gone, with him dying, incoherent mental messes of everything falling apart, all my fears realized as I unconsciously battled with my blankets, struggling against myself, my mind.

Waking up felt like a nightmare come to life. Lying in bed, hoping that something would happen, some world cataclysm would strike that would prevent this day from happening. Something that would cause my life to hop the tracks, perhaps end, but remove myself from this self-inflicted torment.

Looking down between my legs on Saturday night, GV8's semen leaking out, coating me shiny slick. Our love and laughter, our coming together because we can't stop the gravity between us.

The climax.

His. His repeated orgasms through the night into the morning, our joy, sharing skin to skin.

And then I broke.

Because I knew that things would have to change. And I would have to trudge down the freeway once more, away from him, knowing that it would mean nothing good for our future.

And I would be without him once more.


  1. It's not just him. There will be the next guy and everything repeating. And then the next. And then the next (until your looks fade).

    What was it that they say about doing the same thing over and over while expecting things to change?

  2. u need to ensure gb8 has a lucrative career so you are able to feather the nest daily while he's at the office. you need to marry before your clock runs out.

  3. You guys think you have the roadmap for every woman's future just because you learned that some tactics work to catch women like monkeys learned to use sticks to catch termites?

    Although this looks more like throwing poo to me.

  4. Although this looks more like throwing poo to me.

    What do you think will help her more in the long run?

    Cheer-ups or some insight into how men think and feel?

  5. Firepower,

    GV8 and I aren't together, so there's no need for him to have a lucrative career.


    Heh, I'm still digging that similie.


    It's almost like you're giving me advice on how to live in a country that I would never even desire to visit.

  6. It's almost like you're giving me advice on how to live in a country that I would never even desire to visit.
    By telling you how men think?
    You don't just visit that country regularly, you've practically gained citizenship.

  7. 11minutes,

    See, the problem here with us communicating about this topic is that we speak in two different languages.

    So I'm not going to try to explain.

    What I am going to say, though, is that I hear your recommendations. You have no personal investment or care for me, which means your advice is not from compassion or genuine concern.

    Which is fine, and more is certainly not expected.

    I hear you. I read your blog. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. I'm aware of your theories and your values. I'll take from them what I feel suits me, and disagree where I choose, based on my own life experiences.