Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Catch Up

I'm procrastinating so much right now.

But my internet palate has been mostly cleansed. Got out and about. Blogged elsewhere. New sites, new names, new faces. So I should probably give a quick rundown of the last two years. Who knows when/if I'll ever update this thing again.

GV8 and I broke up, as you saw.

 PD and I were having issues and broke up, finally, in April 2011. We're still best friends. Yes, I'm still in love with him to some degree. We're working on it.

In July 2011, I took a volunteer gig for a little over a week. I loved it. Motivated me to quit my day job (international logistics, if I never mentioned) and pursue my goals fully. 

Grad school started in August 2011. I'm halfway through now, and on my third semester. I think I'm going to do it in five semesters (total), if my current working situation continues.

 I spent, essentially, August 2011 to August 2012 being self-employed. Random gigs. Some of them were *really* random. I was a regular lunch date for an elderly blind man. A church-attendee delivery service. Accountant for a video game start-up. Flower delivery. Book editor. Trivia creator. Personal assistant. Tech consultant for the elderly.

And I started regularly writing for a pop culture news site. Had a weekly feature column there doing movie reviews, as well as the random interview. Got to meet some awesome, creative people and talk to them about what they love doing. Sporadically seeing one of them now, a very up and coming actor. Movie screenings throughout Hollywood. Pre-release parties. Comic-Con, up on the roof of fancy hotels. Sitting down with the cast of my favorite TV shows. Still doing that.

I get things in the mail. Books, movies, promotional items for various books and movies. Somehow ended up on the Paranorman mailing list. I now have zombie slippers and a toothbrush. (I squeaked when I opened that box.)

I occasionally worked as a runner and office girl for one of my favorite horror movie companies. It helped that I was banging their Marketing Manager, but the owner liked me, found me more professional than the others. More on him later, if I post again.

And, of course, the porn writing. I don't know if I ever posted about that. I write porn scripts. Parodies, mostly. For major porn houses. It's pretty fun. I get to go to set and watch porn stars act out my scripts, which is oddly gratifying.

I also finally tackled a dream I've had since I was a teenager: working a local Halloween event. It's a month and a half long. I applied for the 2011 season. My character? A murdered prostitute. It was perfect. Beautiful.

I'm doing it again this year. My location? The bedroom. It's dark pink and red, a four poster bed. My official station? The bed. Covered in blood, I get to roll around, stripper style. Grinding, dry-humping, moaning. Hitting on those who walk through. Inviting to threesomes. Distracting guests so one of my coworkers can lunge and roar. I work that bed like a god.

I wear dresses constantly now. Part of that job-- running into the wardrobe building and stripping as quickly as possible in order to not be late to my make-up artist. I started populating my wardrobe with pastels and brightly colored patterns, wearing contacts instead of my usual glasses. Curling my hair. Fucking with friends who haven't seen me in ages-- used to me in my dark colors and elegant lines. The upcoming winter means sweater dresses, and I love them so much.

Grad school has been good, too. Was pulling straight As, had been all through my pre-reqs until I made the stupid mistake of being overly honest with a professor about his teaching style. That turned into a B+. Occasionally I do childish things.

I went back to the volunteer job for 2012. It's a two week long event, essentially. While I was there, things kept happening. Promotions. Within months, through my doggedness in getting the prep work done before the event and willingness to do whatever needed to be done, I rapidly climbed. Soon I was out of the volunteer ranks and into a paid position, without ever having any intent of doing so. The event hit and it was madness.

I was overseeing a division of a little over 100 people with very little experience. But we pulled through and impressed everyone. A month later, another promotion, a salaried position with benefits. Flexible hours. I'm in the office a total of ten hours a week. I set my own home hours.

I'm a Director now. I'm 28. I'm overseeing four divisions with around 550-600 staff under me. Every year we pull together to make an amazing event that's attended by fifty thousand people. I'm responsible for about 85% of what they interface with.

We travel. I have to go negotiate with major, major companies whose names anyone would know. I'm going to Tokyo in a few weeks. Washington D.C. in January. Just got back from Atlanta. Will be going out of state constantly next year, doing meetings and networking. Another trip to Japan in the Spring.

I love it. It isn't where I expected to be, this time last year.

This time last year I was saving every penny for tuition. I'm halfway through my Masters and I still have no student debt. I'm almost done saving for the Spring semester as well.

Love life? I've been single since PD and I broke up. Not that there's been a lack of attention. Just a lack of anyone I truly want to date.

Sex life? I've got a lovely young man I call "the boy". He's a few months younger than I am. All blond Germanic heritage and features. Perfectly hung. Funny as hell-- I laugh so much when I'm with him. We play far too many video games together. He's got the old consoles, so I ordered a copy of Super Mario World for SNES and we're plowing through that.

He's my vacation from work.

He's also my pet project. 28 and, when I met him, had had sex with only two women a total of four times. Never had done doggie, never had gone down on a girl, never had sex in the shower, standing up, nothing. 

While I do love experienced men, I truly do, sometimes I meet someone who I vibe with who has no experience. Someone I can work with. He's one of them. I'm taking my years of experience and funneling them to him. Teaching him everything I know about sex, about getting sex, about psychology and attitudes and warnings. He soaks it up like a sponge, he's so quick.

There's been other guys. I ran into an ex from almost a decade ago. We're rekindling. That's a whole other story.

I was seeing a lifestyle businessman for a bit. Dom. Loaded. Gorgeous. Perfectly experienced. So very, very distant. Got old.

PhD student. Into rape scenes. The sex was great. He was kinda a dick.

Programmer/tech nerd. Wonderful sex, hung like a horse, fun to be with. Started dating someone.

The marketing guy from the horror company. Whole kettle of fish with that one. And by fish, I mean pussy. He was getting too much of it from too many places. Made me uneasy-- he kept banging crazies.

There's been others. I forget. Nothing serious.

Partner count, because some of you are so very concerned with that, is probably around 90. Still haven't been able to work it all out. Don't really care. The ones that matter, matter. The ones that don't, really really don't. I know there are things I've forgot to mention, but it has been a crazy couple of years. I'll bring it together eventually. Or I won't.

I'm the one in green. Being devoured by zombies. Like you do.


  1. sounds interesting i got an event for you to plan.

  2. I'm mildly terrified of your "event".

    Does it involve a bed and full body lubrication?

  3. thanks for posting! i appreciate the chance to read your words.

  4. She's back! My goodness, and with mostly happy news- some of it surprising. Pastel colors? DRESSES? :-)

    Glad you are doing well- not surprised at all, but happy to see the news. And if you want a native to show you around Washington DC in January- well, just drop a line-!

  5. Lovely to hear you are getting on well. You look so happy in that photo! Delighted. Things a bit better for me too. xx

  6. Well I'll be damned. Welcome back.

  7. Things always have an odd way of working out. Look where you're at now and then imagine how fucked up your life would be had you married the sociopath known as GV8? Good luck to you!

  8. I'm proud of you, Ali.

  9. Glad to see you writing again. Was thinking of you the other day.