It's another drive-by blogging.

I really wish I could sit here and do more. Write more. Tell you all what is going on, what this is like. Submerge myself in the memories, the sensations, the experiences, and let it flow.

Maybe I will, later tonight, once my mother goes to sleep.

But I can't leave her alone. I ran out to get coffee, food, and take pictures of the state of the house.

But we're locked out. He's locked us out. I can't get in. Even the second story windows are locked.

We're probably calling the police tonight, to have him committed if we can.

If he convinces them, and my father is a very smart, manipulative man, that he is perfectly fine, then we're screwed. We're screwed for life.

Doctor is of little help. My mother is in pieces. GV8 and a few other friends are keeping me strong, as I have to be strong for my mom and my sister. I don't feel like I'm going to break anymore.

We'll see how things go.

My future, my schooling, is in jeapordy. As is my sister's. As is my mother's. Future, that is. No schooling worries there.

That's really what I'm focusing on, what is upsetting me. I know I've just detached because I hate seeing my mother in such pain. My father has always been a little off. It was a matter of time and circumstances before something happened, though he had been getting better. I was hoping it was over, that he had stabilized and would be able to finally learn to control himself.

And then this sleep medication.

Phone call. Gotta run.