Sunday, April 18, 2010

I went to a party on Saturday night with my club friend who I had, in a combo fit of needed to let parts of me run wild and gratefulness, locked lips with for a little too long at a club two weeks ago.

Telling him at the beginning and the middle that this was a one time deal.

Of course, a week later, we were out at another club and I was frisky.

The amount of time was less, but we were very much more in public, with friends. With lots of friends. Part of it was me simply being silly and getting him to stop teasing people by keeping his mouth occupied.

So... that happened.

And he called to ask me to go to this party with him (which ended up, oddly enough, being the birthday party of someone I've been acquainted with for the last ten years) on Saturday.

I said yes because I do really like him... as a friend. He's an amazingly good person, not a "good guy" that is just a beta push-over, but more like a grizzly bear. He works at various clubs, bounces, does set-up and tear-down, and he's always there for his friends with no motivation other than genuine caring. So when guys get too aggressive, he steps up and knocks them down with one huge paw. And his female friends get too drunk and start bawling all over the place, he'll hold them and talk to them and give them a ride home- without ever touching them (unless it's to carry them).

But it's never as a doormat. He's supportive without anyone using him or looking down on him. He doesn't take shit from anyone, and he will lay down the law when need be.

I find that very rare.


He asked me to go to the party with him, and since I was oddly free Saturday night, and wanted to be somewhere to get my mind off of GV8 and the club, I said yes.

So we get there and I get introduced to the people I don't know and we get a tour of the house (which includes even more people), and then I run out to my car to put my jacket away, leaving my friend talking with this cute little married couple.

I come back and he says, "Hey, V, show them how you shut me up."

Which is... no. No. You don't put me on the spot like that. You don't fence me in publicly to get access to me. I am not a dancing bear and I am not going to play along with your games.

So I sauntered up to him, leaned against his side, facing the couple in front of us, and said, "Well, usually I just say something overly sexual and it just shuts him right up."

He's known for being a bit of a hound, and quite perverted, so this was an easy out for me. That's a conversation starter. Random girl says something overly sexual and it shuts his brain down? Oh, do tell.

I thought it would be fine. I thought the conversation would shift.

He looks down at me, as he's about six to eight inches taller than my 5'9", and says, "No the other thing you do to shut me up."

Which leaves me just looking at him for a half-second in disbelief.

Really? You're not going to let this one slide?

So I spit out some elaboration on my previous statement, about how prude he is, how easily he blushes, how kids say the darnedest things. Okay, not that last one.

"No, V, the other thing."

And then he grabs my hand and the back of my neck and pulls me in.

This is when two years of swing dancing kicks in.

I could have just yanked back hard and completely rejected him in a social setting, surrounded by his friends and some people I have known for years without actually getting to know them.

Instead I let him pull me in half a step, then ducked and rolled my head out of his grip while using the momentum he had created while pulling me in to do a quick spin that landed me in his arms... facing away from him. Looking like he had pulled me into a hug that allowed me to continue talking to the couple.

Didn't even have to think about it.

And, once I had dodged that situation, I did not think about it at all.

Until I was talking to him later, mentioning I was getting sick. And he said, "Oh, I was wondering why you wouldn't... I figured you were having an outbreak..." trail off. And I'm sitting here going, as per usual: wtf?

It hadn't sunk in. That this was it. That was the contact he was getting, doled out at my discretion, which was supposed to be a one-night event. Which is what I told him.

Because I kissed him the second time, he assumed that he'd have open access to my mouth?

This was after, though, we met up, when there was plenty of time to molest him. And when he went to hug me hello, I kept my head down. And I told him that GV8 was back sniffing around.

So I'm staring at him.

He tried to trap me in a small net of social expectations, tried to get me to kiss him again.

It's sad because, wow, it's so just kissing. I've done more than that on way too many first dates. And I'm sitting here being prudishly annoyed that he attempted to kiss me. Wow. Lips. Craaaaaziness.

But you don't do that. You don't do the social entrapment. This is not how it works. I am not obligated to lend you credibility. I am not going to perform an action because you tell someone else I will.

It does not happen that way.

And, in other news, the texting fiend (I want to say "moron" at this juncture because I'm so irritated) is back.

Tuesday, he asks me if I'm going clubbing this weekend at all. I tell him no, too busy.

We text back and forth for about twenty minutes, then he asks me out for the weekend.

No, I'm still too busy.

Wednesday, he texts me to ask me out shopping for the weekend.

Nope, still too busy this weekend. Plans are still made.

TODAY, while I'm having Sunday dinner with my family, he texts me to ask me if I'm going clubbing tonight.

I just stared at my phone.

I deal with this at work way too often. People who don't read their emails all the way through, people that are too lazy to open files and ask the same question over and over again so I keep having to forward them the same email over and over again.

It's a peeve.

If he's not going to remember my texts, I'm not going to send them. There's no point.

Between those two and GV8, I'm mightily annoyed with menfolk right now.


  1. You never know. Tenth time is a charm...

    I hate texting.
    I called Verizon last year and cancelled that shit.

    Less ways to reach me, man. Less. Never more.

  2. You lead a rather complicated life.
    It seems to me that "Life" has type-caste you as a rather sexual being and won't hear of you auditioning for a different part.
    You need an entirely new "Life" agent.

  3. I dunno, at a certain point you might just decide it is simpler to just not kiss/cuddle/fuck guys you really aren't interested in. But what would be the fun in that? ;-)

  4. Phoenixism,

    You CANCELLED your TEXTING?! While I could live without it, it'd make me sad to do so.

    If by "charm" you mean "knife to the face" then, yes, tenth time is definitely the charm.


    Sometimes my life seems really simple. It is the way it is.

    And I do need a new Life agent. Trying to change one's own role is difficult. Looking at myself getting pruded out by kissing is somewhat ridiculous.


    Hehehe. The problem is, I don't want to date most men. But they're so pretty...

  5. Maybe if you were not such a whore these things would not happen.