Thursday, November 12, 2009

I'm sitting here, at work, supposed to be working, will be working shortly, pissed as hell at myself.

Yes, I've gone from depressed to pissed. Typical emotional cycle.

I'm 26 years old.
I graduated college when they were worried that I wouldn't even graduate high school because my depression was so severe I nearly dropped out.
I've fought drug addiction.
I've escaped a physically abusive relationship.
I've escaped a psychologically abusive relationship.
I've been hired for almost every job I've ever interviewed for.
I've got an amazingly wide circle of wonderful friends.
I have a healthy and loving relationship with my family.
I've conquered major fears.
I've nearly destroyed myself and rebuilt it from scratch.
I've taken a body near bloated by aforermentioned drug and am finally almost done bringing it back to where it was.
I've managed to finally have healthy relationships and shrug off the old issues with sex, something that took years to conquer.

Why the hell am I as insecure as I am?

Why can't I get over it?

Why can't I just value and trust myself?

What the hell is the issue?


  1. Maybe because I cancelled my blog and my new one with the first post is part of what society would consider my darker side?

  2. I don't want to use amateur psychology on you as it's not my place...however what I will say is that whilst you have overcome so much (and you should be proud of yourself), your past has affected you to such an extent that you're still looking back and not forward...when you master that, the rest will follow...

  3. Mysterg,

    You're quite correct. Things to work on...