Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Quick update before I go back to work:

House has been evacuated. Sent mother off to San Diego to stay with a cousin, sister to boyfriend's, myself to C's. Cats' living situation is TBD. Woke up at 5AM to find my father in a state of raging anxiety, reorganzing, throwing away, accusing, putting notes on everything about how he wants things handled because we are all children and can't run a house and want him to get miserable enough to kill himself.

Something something something.

Don't think I'm going to be able to go back to school.

Don't see how things are going to work out without committing him or him killing himself. Doctor is currently no help. Dad is planning for divorce. Nothing is getting through to him. No logic, no rational.

I emptied my room, my life, of anything of value to me last night, put it in my car, took my extra key from his possession, took my sister's extra key as well. He'll probably change the locks.

But I am able. I am able to leave. I can take this life and ditch it and start again if I must, if we all must.

I have a duffle bag with a week's worth of clothes, some cash, a tank full of gas.

I can do this.

I can do anything I need to survive.

And I will protect my family, even if that means ditching my father to his madness and, at least temporarily, giving up my dreams.

Watch me go.


  1. My thoughts are with you. Take care.

  2. jesus, sweetie. hang in there. call if you need or want to chat.