I wanted to take a moment between things to thank everyone for their support in comments and emails, and the occasional phone call from the rare few of you that have my number.

I'm... actually... fine.

I feel good.

Yes, there has been some crying. Mostly grief, I think. Grief for what we had and what it turned into, the loss of a good relationship, a good friendship.

He was exactly what I needed when I met him. He helped me through some difficult times and helped me grow so much as a person, faster than I would have on my own.

But that's over.

We have, as he said to me a few months ago, passed our dating window.

He'll always be able to push my buttons, make me want him, to some degree.

But... I don't love him anymore. I care for him, sure.

But no love. Respect is fading. Trust is gone.

In some ways, he's so amazing and experienced. He takes care of things, harnesses reality and makes it his.

But when it comes to relationships... he doesn't have enough experience, and it shows. He missed me, he wanted me, he dangled what would make me jump back into his arms. He didn't think it through, didn't take into consideration my happiness.

I mean, he did to some degree. Sending me back to school, giving me the time to write my book, puruse getting my body into its best shape, giving me control over my time.

So valuable.

Time is precious.

But he did not think further.

And he's so dominant, it's hard to not just naturally bend to him.

But there are things I can no longer excuse. Behaviors that do not work for me, and not just his need to sexually roam.

Some people just don't fit.

And I've finally accepted that.

In the last couple weeks, before GV8 came crashing back into my life, I met someone. I actually met someone. Someone I have things in common with, someone I might truly fit with. Someone who is an amazingly good person. Who values me.

Who kept his phone by his bed Saturday night, knowing that I would likely call and need a shoulder to cry on.

Who picked it up when it rang at midnight-thirty, talked to me as I drove to his home, curled up in bed with me and let me talk.

He makes me happy.




End: Chapter One